The author I've been pitted against in the first round is (evil and mean) Ruthie Knox, and she's already thrown the first punch.
I therefore respond in kind. (Hair pulling postponed -- for now.)
First of all, let's look at (evil and mean) Ruthie:
As compared to the wonderful, fabulous, talented, well, me:
I think that clarifies everything.
Vote 1, Emmie, on 22 March, at the DABWAHA tournament site. (Go here for instructions.)
*NB: Ruthie may not be actually evil OR mean. In fact, I think she's a pretty amazing author and nice person, having got to know her a little on Twitter. You should definitely check out her books. After you've voted for me. :)